The Graphic Says It All [Day 01/100]

Okay, so this post was actually supposed to be a stupid throwaway post where I talked about how I’m going to attempt to post on here once a day for 100 days. Which I am. This post is going to end up going up after midnight, so technically on 5/9, but for the next 100 days, I will post once every day, by midnight. Probably a lot of garbage you can just ignore, but potentially some pearls of genius will spill from my lips, so you should keep an eye out.

ANYWAY.

For like five seconds earlier this week, I considered grad school. I’m actually proud of myself, because while this higher education delusion is inescapable, it really only lasted as long as it took me to type in usc.edu. Once I had typed those six expensive letters, something deep within me snapped, and the logician on my shoulder who is MIA more often than not said something like, “you’re not going into 100K of debt for a degree in what you’re already getting paid to do.”

The delusion that I have entertained for about five hours now, however, is one in which, following the end of shelter in place, I ditch everything and move to Portland, Maine. Not Portland, Oregon, the hipster capital of the PNW. Portland, Maine, the capital of who knows what. Certainly not MAINE, because that honor currently belongs to Augusta.

Here’s everything I know about Maine:

  • A book I read when I was nine years old took place there. It was about an eternally 13-year-old Genie named Genny (short for Genevieve) who was born in the year 1000 and was assigned to 13-year-old girls to help solve their problems.
  • They are known for their blueberries and lobster, which I know because…
  • I did my 5th grade state project on Maine and all I remember is the blueberries and lobster thing.
  • My fifth-grade crush also picked Maine for his project, and I thought this meant were destined to be together.

Soooo pretty strong foundation for me to uproot my life in California for the coldest state in the country. Or, not the coldest one, but a pretty cold one. Or something. I don’t even know that much.

What do I know, you ask? I know that a one-bedroom apartment in Portland is well within my budget. BECAUSE I SPENT AN HOUR SEARCHING APARTMENTS IN PORTLAND, MAINE. Why did I do that? Granted, there’s not much else I could be doing, but still.

I also searched for jobs in Portland, and didn’t really find much in the realm of PR and communications, which is the only thing I’m really qualified to do, but, you know, whatever. I had a fantasy of working at a cafe by a boardwalk or something, which I am not at all qualified to do, but that’s the great thing about delusions.

It’s past midnight, so I’m gonna hit publish on this bad boy and catch you tomorrow (and the day after and the day after that for 100 days).

xoxo,

ak

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